I'm pretty sure I've been scarred for life.
Or maybe it's scared.
I seriously live in deep fear that one day, Aunt Fanny will show up at my door and demand that I pay her money ---for what, I am not sure. But these are the things nightmares are made of....
Memories of Aunt Fanny are still very vivid. I spent a lot of time around this changeling to know that it was always the unpredictable that made going to her house an adventure.
It was never the same place twice.
Furniture would be in other places, my cousins would have switched bedrooms, someone would be living in the basement, and, just in case, if in fact the cops came to the door, don't answer it! And if you DID answer the door, say NOTHING.
I was terrified of police officers for the longest time.... I thought they meant ME harm. I didn't realize they were more interested in busting up Aunt Fanny's relationship with Mary Jane and her cohorts...
But just as the scenery would change in the physical realm at my Aunt's House, so would the spiritual, olfactory and the indigestible.
Aunt Fanny had, what I refer to as, "kicks".
Religious kicks, food kicks, quirky kicks and just kicks for kicks sake.
I saw copies of The Book of Mormon, Hari Krishna, The New Testament and even The Kama Sutra lying about the house. I guess you could say that each of them had their own version of spirituality. Of course, the latter was one that required deeper inspection and maneuvering the book in various ways in order to see what exactly it was a picture of.... it seemed to be an interesting, if not awkward form of prayer.
Aunt Fanny also went into a health food diet stage and sold vitamins out of her "basement store"... Powers, pills and mix-ins abounds! It looked like her own apothecary ... and I'm sure there were some special pick-me-ups available from her lab that were not available in any store.
She went on a kick about no preservatives, no artificial colors or flavors for a long while. Her children were only allowed to have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as a treat - since apparently it was the most naturally, healthy candy on the market.
Then there was "an artichoke with every meal" kick.... (because the melted butter that it was served in MUST have been real good for the arteries too). Not to mention how Aunt Fanny's house smelled every night. (Trust me, that many green leaf vegetables being prepared... the before and after was not pleasant.)
The kick about getting the most money out of the government as possible kick is one that is still omnipresent. She not only bilks Uncle Sam out of some cash and free cheese, but she WORKS for the government... in one way or another. She's really the queen of loopholes and loopy-ness. (Like her very own version of the Loop Ness Monster!)
She spends time counseling prisoners and being a Christian missionary ... to help them work on their path back to the Lord.
If you ask me, I think she's telling them that she's got some Grade A weed at her house that will help them SEE Jesus, and when Bad Boy Bobby gets sprung from the pen, she can help him with some income if he sells a little ganja on the side from Aunt Fanny's Farm.
So far, she has a lot of people snowed.... she's been doing it for a lifetime. Most everyone believes she is a "born again" Christian... but doesn't that mean a part of you died? The only thing that has died in Aunt Fanny has been her BRAIN CELLS (from smoking marijuana - it is a medical fact, check into it if you don't believe me).
I hope the next kick involves a bucket.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Get Your Aunt Fanny Kicks
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
How To Sell Funny Pictures Online
In this article I will explain to you how to sell funny pictures online for a big profit.Perhaps you don't know it but if you have some original funny pictures you are sitting on a gold mine.If you do a google search for funny pictures you will find more then thirty five millions of results for that keyword alone.Such large numbers may impress you but after all everybody wants to be entertained.In this article I will explain to you how to sell funny pictures online.
1 # Funny pictures: Submit them to break.com.
A great place to sell funny pictures online is by registering a free account on break.com.If your pictures make it to a gallery you get paid a cool 25$ bucks.If you have some original funny videos make sure that you submit hem as well.Break gives you an awesome two thousand dollars for this kind of videos that make it on their homepage.The best thing you can do is submitting your funny pictures or videos to break.com right away.But keep in mind that it is break's staff who decided if your pictures will make it trough the gallery or not.
2 # Ebaumsworld.com
Ebaumsworld.com is a site similar to break.com they also pay you to submit your funny pictures and videos.However it is possible to upload jokes and mp3's as well.
3 # Shutterstock.com
One of my favourite places to sell pictures online is trough shutterstock.com.They pay you 20 cents per download of your picture.Twenty cent per download doesn't look much but the user doesn't have to pay a dime to download it.Sites like shutterstock.com are called online stock photography sites.
4 # Additional stock photography sites.
Buying and selling pictures is a very large market so shutterstock.com is far from the only website that offers a similar service.To help you out I will give you five additional websites where you can send your funny pictures to it.
- Fototopic.com
- Istockphoto.com
- Fotolia.com
- Spymedia.com
- Canstockphoto.com
Before you submit your pictures to similar sites make sure that you have read their faq and their guidelines.Most sites don't allow you to submit pictures with people on it.
I hope you have an idea now how to sell funny pictures online.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Frederik_Deglande
Monday, May 19, 2008
Anatomy Of Wife
Wife is a living creative. It has two hands and two feet. She uses her hands to throw the household utensils on her husband. Sometimes she hurls iron forks and even heavy things on him .she uses her feet to go on shopping and attending functions. She is often seen at the shopping centers however you can see her in house too when she invites her friends to show them the obedience of her husband. It has two eyes that contain a fluid which she keeps on overflowing from her eyes. These are called tears but in fact these are borrowed from the crocodiles. This fluid works as a catalyst to convince the so called husbands.
It has two ears that are used to hear the backbiting of the neighbors or the close relatives of the husband. This is a creature that has more interest in necklace than her children. She has a heart or emotions that are only for her parents. All the various branches of her heart lead to her parent's home. It has strongest digestive system in this world as it gnaws at the salary of her husband within no time. Its favorite dish is the meal prepared by her husband. Grabbing Salary is the favorite pastime and pretension of fidelity is her favorite snobbery.
She has pair of scissors like piece of flesh that is called the tongue. This scissor keeps on and keeps on and never tired. It cuts to the quick her husband feelings and never felt qualms of conscience. This is the only creature that does not use brain but tongue for thinking purposes too. This creature is more allergic from the family of the husband especially the brothers and sisters of his husband. She feels happy when she is among her friends.
The very presence of her fiancé is the most annoying sight for her eyes. If you want to suffocate her, keep her in the house for some days. It feels like fish out of water in the last days of the month when she can not go out for shopping. It is never tried of back biting and shopping. If you want her see laughing, you would have to wait for the paydays. It laughs and coax and cajole her mate only for one day and that is the payday.
self observation
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Akram_Saqib
